i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
