Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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