Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
