You made me cry and you don't even care
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
