For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
