we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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