nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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