This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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