Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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