new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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