Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
