i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
