He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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