ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
