his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
