If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
