So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
