my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
