there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
