You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
