I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
