Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
