Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
