So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
