I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
