you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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