I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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