Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
