If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
