What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.