I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.