I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
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He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
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The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.