i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
