I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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