oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I want is dick and wine.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
