ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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