I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
