Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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