Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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