I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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