why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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