I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
