Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
