Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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