sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you never un-have a 4some
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize