nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
