butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize