You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I love you. Go after that dick
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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