So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
