I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
