Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
why do cheetos always look like penises
I got her a Nickelback box set.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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