Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
