I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize