he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm always down for nudity.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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