You just made me feel so damn special
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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