But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Christians are straight up FREAKS
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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