I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
