So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
