Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
