Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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