Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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