I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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