Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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