belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
