ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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