He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
