I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
